Chapter 33

33: Late that night, most people were still awake, too uneasy to sleep.  Suddenly Stratford's head cocked to one side and his feathers ruffled.  He turned his head to look at a lady sitting in the hotel lobby with a man.
    Gina Templewhite had been carrying on a conversation with her newlywed husband, Benjamin.  She paused in mid-sentence, which is what had caught the bird's attention.  Without looking anywhere in particular, she suddenly blurted out, "Why won't you let me in?"  Everyone's eyes went to her.
  Ben asked Gina, "What are you talking about?"
  "Not her, a spirit," squawked Stratford.
  Kenn asked Stratford, "The woman here is channeling a spirit?"
  "Yes.  Very sad.  Not a dark spirit."
  "That's my wife.  How the hell is she channeling a spirit?"  Ben was standing up now.
  Daniel considered this a moment.  He turned to Ben.  "Is she pregnant by any chance?"
  "No.  We just got married last week.  We're on our honeymoon here.  Besides, what does pregnancy have to do with anything?"  Ben put his hand on his wife's shoulder.
  Daniel's eyebrows went up and then furrowed.  "Well, children are very innocent and pure.  They are sensitive to spirits.  Kinda like animals like Stratford here.  Anyway, I've heard accounts of unborn babies being so connected that the mother can have psychic visions through the spirit of the child."
  "But she's not pregnant!  We use. . ."  Ben's face visibly blushed when he realized how loudly he was about to proclaim details about his intimacy with his wife.  He lowered his voice and spoke directly to Daniel.  "We use protection every time."
  Daniel put his palms up in the air in an 'I don't know' gesture.  "Well, you know, 'protection' doesn't always work.  It's not a hundred percent reliable all the time."
  "But that's crazy.  Even if she did somehow become pregnant, the embryo would only be a few cells in size."  Just then, a loud thud came from the window.  Everybody turned to look outside the wall-sized window at the undead woman in the business suit clawing at the glass.
  Daniel's eyebrows furrowed.  "I'll let you argue the whole 'when does a baby become a baby' thing some other time.  Right now there's a zombie outside the window trying to communicate with us through your wife."
  All at once, a cry rose up among the crowd.  "Mom!  What the fuck?  That's my mother out there."  Lowe Freq ran to the nearest door and tried to open it.
  Kenn quickly got over to him and stopped him from letting the woman in.  "Lowe, you can't let her in.  She might be dangerous."
  "Yong, don't listen to him.  Let mommy in," Gina said, turning toward Lowe.
  "Mom, I'm coming!  Fucking let go of me, motherfucker!  That's my mom!"
  Jeffrey came over to help calm Lowe.  "Dude, Lowe.  That's not your mother out there.  That's just her body.  If we let her in she could hurt one of us or even worse."
  "Fuck you!  Don't say that.  Mom!"
  Gina's shoulders slumped.  "Yong, I'm sorry, but you need to listen to them."  Now all eyes were on Gina again.  Her eyes gazed lovingly at Lowe.
  "Mom, what are you saying?"  Lowe hung his head to his chest with his eyes closed.
  "I remember now, we were in the car trying to find you.  Your father and I.  We didn't know what was going on. One of those things was in the road. Your dad swerved and we hit a tree.  I'm not sure, but I think I passed out for a little while.  It all happened so fast.  When I came to, I tried to wake your father.  There was so much blood.  His head was at such a terrible angle.  Honey, your father died trying to look for you.  We were so worried.  The car was making horrible noises so I got out of the car and tried to escape, but that thing attacked me.  I don't know what happened.  Next thing I remember, I'm here and I see you."
  Lowe lifted his head and looked at Gina.  "Mom, what am I supposed to do?  God dammit, I haven't spoken to you for three fucking years.  The last thing I said to you was that I hated you and wanted you dead.  And I did.  Fuck, I hated you.  But look at you.  What the hell am I supposed to do?"  Tears streamed down his face.
  "Your father and I made a lot of mistakes.  You were our only child.  We didn't know what we were doing.  All we knew was that we loved you.  We just wanted you to be successful and happy."
  "But I am successful.  And I am happy.  Look at me, you know.  I'm in a band.  I mean, we play shows.  We're really good, you know.  We could get really big."
  "I never knew.  You never told us."
  "You never listened.  You always made me feel like I was being bad just by not being you."
  "My baby, we did the best that we could."
  "I wish you could hear our music."
  "I will always be with you.  And I will hear your music.  I'm sure it is wonderful.  You were always so happy.  You're my little baby.  You will always be my baby."
  "Mom, I'm not a baby any more."
  "I know.  I'm so sorry.  When your grandfather, the minister, moved us on a boat, from China here to America, your father and I were newly married.  We were so poor then.  A can of peach halves was a rare treat.  Your grandpa couldn't get by on a minister's wages.  Your father helped support him by working at a grocery store.  You came along soon after we got here to Arizona.  You were so precious.  I wanted you to be a baby forever.  But I see that you have become something better.  You are our son.  We're very proud of you.  We're glad you're happy.  Please don't be angry any more.  You will be much happier if you can let go of your anger."
  "Mom, I don't know what to do.  I won't be angry any more.  But I wish I could see you again."
  "Please be glad to know that we know you forgive us.  Thank you for being our son.  I'm sorry you can't see us, but I can see you have many people here who care for you.  One day, many years from now, you will see us again.  I know you will.  We love you."
  "I love you too, mom.  Please tell dad that I love him too."
  "He knows.  He's already gone, but I'm sure he's looking down at you.  I need to go join him now, but I will look down here upon your life always."
  Kenn had long since let go of Lowe and put a hand on his shoulder.  "Mrs. Lowe, my brother can lead you to the light.  Is there anything else you would like to say before you go?"
  "Yong, be strong, always.  We will be with you wherever you go.  We love you and we're proud of you."
  "I love you both.  I'm glad we talked.  Bye mom."  Ben let go of Gina's shoulder so that she could hug Lowe.
  "Goodbye, my son.  And please, get rid of my body.  I don't want to walk around as one of those things."
  Kenn nodded his head.  "Don't worry, Mrs. Lowe.  I'll take care of this personally.  Yong, you shouldn't see this. You should remember your mother the way she was in life."
  Lowe squeezed his eyes shut and Carrionette led him up to room 742 where he was staying.  Daniel opened the door and Kenn went out to where Yong's mother was still clawing at the glass.  He gripped her arms from behind and led her away from where onlookers could see.  He pinned her to the ground with one knee and smashed her head with a rock.  He and Daniel buried her in a secluded area of the park.

Chapter 32

32: Somewhere in the outskirts of Marble Cliffs, a man who had once been a pizza delivery driver staggered along in the desert.  He was carrying an insulated red pizza bag with deliveries which retained more heat than his body did. His gray skin was cracked and peeling in the Arizona heat.  The skin of his belly ruptured, spilling his intestines onto the dry desert floor.  They were dragging behind him as he lurched.  Occasionally, a bit of it would snag on a cactus and cause him to slow down and lose his balance until it ripped off and freed him to once again wander around in search of something to eat.
  Nearby, a lizard was doing little push ups on a hot desert rock.  The zombie noticed it and hungrily snatched it up, eating the entire thing, bones and all.  Without a working digestive system, the chewed-up lizard just sat in the back of his throat.  If he was alive, he would be choking on it, but his gagging reflex was just another dead part of his past.  Since he didn't have to breathe, the obstruction in his throat was not a problem at all.  Even if he could swallow it, he couldn't digest it and would gain no sustenance from it.  So it just sat uselessly and would eventually decompose.  For now, with the primal instinct to eat temporarily satisfied, he looked off into the distance and saw the lights of the city.  Something deep inside him knew there would be more food to be found there.
  Behind him, all of the bodily fluids he had spilled onto the ground dried up quickly and powderized, mixing with the dust of the desert.  This same process was going on at hundreds of different locations all over Marble Cliffs. Everywhere one of the Revenant stood, they were spilling their filth upon the land.  Dust devils here and there kicked up this mixture of sand and human refuse and thus the Scathing became an airborne pathogen heading any which way the wind blows.
  At the hotel that night, the Untaken finally got their first glimpse of the Revenant.  It was a woman dressed in what had once been a nice business suit.  It was now soiled with dark stains and bits of rotted flesh.  She came toward the windows and banged on the glass.  Another, a small boy joined on the other side of the building.
  "These zombie fuckers are rising from their graves, man!" shouted Alexander.
  "Uh, yeah.  I don't think these people broke through the wood of a coffin, then dug through six feet of dirt.  Look, they can't even break through these damn windows.  These are the infected Defectors that dude was telling us about," said Jeffrey.
  "Oh yeah, that too," said Alexander.
  "These damn things are like flies trying to get in.  You know, I never thought about it, but flies have some degree of individuality.  I mean, not like personalities or anything, but each one starts out as an egg, becomes a maggot, then eventually they reach adulthood.  I never think of a fly as being one week old, one month old, male, female.  You know?  They're all just flies.  It's only because these zombies used to be people that we're able to think of them as individuals.  We might even have known some of them, but basically, they're just like flies.  Or maybe it's the other way around and flies are just like zombies," said Lowe Freq.
  "Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?" asked Alexander.
  "Shit, I don't know, man.  When the hell is lunch?"
  "We just had breakfast!" exclaimed Carrionette.
  "And besides, how can you eat, knowing those zombie schmucks are out there?" asked Alexander.
  "I'm a growing boy," said Lowe with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

Chapter 31

31: Meanwhile, at Wolf Cub Elementary, Rend was formulating a plan.  Richard Finestra, whose wife, Laura, was the principal at the school, was the one who had suggested to Rend that the Defectors could safely stay in the cafeteria.  He was given the task of overseeing the survivor's welfare while Rend was busy thinking of how to infiltrate the Untaken at the hotel.
  "One of the obvious first things we'll have to do is send out small parties to get us some food," said Richard.  "The supply closet has a lot of the toiletries we'll need.  The freezer has some old ice cream sandwiches left over from the school year.  They should still be good, but we need nutrition."  Richard noticed Rend's shudder at the mention of the freezer.  "What's wrong, my master?"
  "My son, I was once imprisoned in ice.  On my planet, that is how they treat criminals.  Could you believe they would do that to me?  I couldn't move.  I could only see what was immediately around me.  Me, treated like a common criminal.  I tell you, no one will ever keep me down again."
  Richard, too, shuddered at the thought of being frozen alive.  "If I have anything to do about it, no one will ever harm you again, master."
  "I trust your loyalty, son.  Now, go and make sure we get all the supplies we will need."
  Richard figured out a list of things they would require for a prolonged stay at the school.  He then prioritized the list and sent out three groups of four people each to various locations to procure the supplies.  In each group he made sure there was someone who could pick locks, two people who looked strong enough to defend against the Revenant and someone who was small enough to get into tight places.  Many of the things they needed could be pilfered from the houses in the surrounding neighborhood, but many of the houses would have to be broken into so they needed someone who could climb into a window if need be.  This would be a very dangerous operation if the Revenant were encountered in large numbers.
  By Rend's estimations, there were over nine hundred of the original Revenant, but that number grow limitlessly once the Scathing infected more of the living.  Fortunately, Rend had finally come up with a plan.

Chapter 30

30: Daniel looked horror struck by Chadwick's story.  "What's wrong, Daniel?" asked Bill.
  "He's telling the truth.  The Nocent travelled here on a spacecraft called the Riven.  Rend was a convicted felon aboard the ship.  The Sypraxian body does look like water in its natural state, but we can form into any shape we choose.  We can even imitate colors by bending light.  The Collective imprison felons by freezing them and keeping them in a box.  When the Riven crashed into the lake, the machine that was keeping Rend frozen must have broken, allowing him to thaw and escape.  What did you say about the chips?"
  "Rend was implanting these chips into the backs of people's hands.  He said it would give them super-human powers or something."
  Daniel thought about this for a moment.  "This must have been the plan all along.  I never told you this, but just before the Nocent were about make their trip to Earth aboard the Riven, they slaughtered every one of the Collective.  They wanted to use our liquid bodies as fuel for the trip.  The computer aboard the Riven is called the Core Zone.  It can be run using the Sypraxian body as energy."
  Mina was terrified.  "They killed all of the Collective?"
  "Yes, but they failed to take into account our spirits.  You see, the Core Zone has an artificial intelligence which our spirits were able to basically stow away with during the trip to Earth.  Along the way, we befriended the on board computer who then sabotaged the Nocent's life support systems.  She opened a hatch which sucked out every one of the Nocent into the coldness of space, killing them.  All that was left of them were their Syproid glands, which are basically their brains.  That is the main difference between the Nocent and the Collective is the absence of the Syproid gland in the Collective.  This brain of theirs is only the size and shape of a dime."
  "So they're completely made of liquid except for this little dime-shaped brain?" asked Jeffrey.
  "Yes.  I believe that when Rend thawed out, he collected all the Syproid glands aboard the Riven and took them with him intending to give them new bodies.  That's why he kidnapped Sandy and used her to advertise the Nocent's intent to implant these 'chips' to give you super-human strength."
  Bill seemed to make a connection in his head.  "So that was probably Rend in the bathtub as both my wife and the blood.  He must have had her tied up somewhere and just retrieved her after Kenn and I left the house.  That's why the police didn't find anything when they got there.  No wonder she looked so lifeless on TV.  That was Rend."
  "Which explains his red aura that I saw," said Mina thoughtfully.
  "What Rend failed to take into account was the Scathing, the Sypraxian virus that was laying dormant in each one of those Syproid glands.  The Defectors who had the chip implanted fell prey to this virus and died.  Now they've started coming back to life and each of them is still quite contagious with the Scathing.  The Revenant could spread the virus."

Chapter 29

29: While everyone was having a good time, a knock suddenly came at one of the large windows of the restaurant.  The room went silent and all attention honed in on the source of the sound.  There was a man outside.
  "It may be one of the Defectors," warned Barney.
  "He doesn't have the red aura," said Daniel.
  Mina looked at the man knocking on the glass and agreed with Daniel.  "He's right.  That man out there may need our help.  We should at least question him.  If we need to, we can always cuff him for our safety."  Gene and Barney went to the closest door and let the man in.  Carrionette cuffed him.  He was out of breath as if he had been running for quite a while.
  Most people were stuffed to the gills by the time the strange man showed up so they gathered around in the restaurant to hear his story.  Barney sat and let him catch his breath.  "I must say, you startled me when you knocked.  Who are you and what are you doing here?"
  "My name is Chadwick Johnson.  I was with the Defectors, but I got the hell out of there.  The leader is a man called Rend.  He's a Nocent, which is an alien race from the planet Sypraxia.  He's made of water.  I've seen it.  He can turn into water or he can look like anyone or anything he wants to.  He implanted these chips into people's hands, but they started to get sick.  He called the disease the Scathing.  He said it was a Sypraxian virus.  I think those people died.  But they didn't stay dead.  When they started coming back to life, he called them the Revenant.  He said he's not in control of them and he's not sure how the Scathing spreads.  The Revenant are a danger to him and to you.  He was going to leave the mill for a safer place.  I high tailed it out of that damn copper mill and found a bicycle which I rode here because I heard you guys had come here."

Chapter 28

28: Bill and the band ate brunch together and were still conversing about the band.  "How did you all meet?"  Bill really was quite intrigued by all of this.
  "Well, actually, that's quite an interesting story.  I mean, of course I've known Lowe since we were three.  When we we went to Marble Cliffs College, we rented a small apartment together and Alexander answered our Roommate Wanted ad in the college newsletter.  It made the rent cheaper to divide it up three ways and we liked him because he was a musician like us.  So anyway, one night, I was exhausted because my Astronomy class had both a test and a practical in the same day, which is detestably impractical.  Getting back to the apartment was no relief because the three of us got to fighting about some stupid thing I don't remember," admitted Jeffrey with a thoughtful look on his face.
  "The dishes.  Alex was being a jerk like 'Oh, those aren't my dishes,' even though we all knew they were," Lowe interjected.  Alex's eyebrows furrowed.
  "No, you ho!  They weren't mine, asswipe," said Alexander with a punch to Lowe's shoulder.
  "Well, so we each went to our rooms after the argument.  In my room I picked up my old guitar in order to blow off some steam, but I was too frazzled to play anything.  In a moment of inspiration, I put down my good guitar and went to my closet to pull out my other guitar.  This one didn't play for shit, but it looked cool with his mahogany finish and blackened edges like it was burned or something.  I decided I was going to destroy it so I dug my hatchet out of a box.
  "My first swing was kinda lame.  I barely nicked the guitar because I had no idea how dense the wood was underneath the paint.  It felt really good just to swing the hatchet so I swung it again.  This time I managed to chip a tiny fleck of paint off, revealing the grains of wood hidden below.  That was quite satisfying so I kept hacking away at it.  I didn't realize the noise this was creating, but Lowe did.  He came in saying, 'Sounds like a train wreck in here, Jeffrey.  What ya up to?'
  "I told him I was destroying my guitar.  He asked if he could give it a shot and I said, 'Sure, go ahead.'  Being more physically muscular than I, Lowe did some major damage to that old thing.  We took turns swinging the hatchet and laughing the whole time.  Alex eventually came to see what was up.
  "We offered for him to give it a shot.  He swung and I swear the guitar bounced up a foot into the air and flipped onto it's face.  Alex's eyes lit up and he swung again.  The hatchet had been a birthday gift from my cousin on my twentieth birthday and the guitar I had just found in a dumpster.  It had no strings when I found it. I restrung it, but it just smelled like burning plastic when I plugged it into my amp so it just sat in my closet, gathering dust.  As we took turns swinging, the plastic pick guard came off chip by chip revealing the internal wiring.  Alex managed to dislodge the volume knob which had all kinds of colorful wires hanging from it.  The carpet was full of wood chips, paint flecks and plastic chips.  For days afterward, I found guitar detritus in the most unlikely places all over my room.
  "When Lowe took a swing, it severed one of the strings which rapidly curled up and cut Alex's hand in the process.  Alex was all whining like a baby about the cut, but Lowe wasn't too impressed.  'Aw that's nothing,' he said.  'You should see the one I got when I fell out of a tree.'  He pulled up his sleeve to show Alex and me a massive scar that went all the way from his wrist to his elbow.
  "At this point I lifted my pant leg and showed them the burn scar on my leg.  'I spilled chicken soup on myself because the bowl was hot.'"
  Bill looked at Jeffrey's leg.  "Oh, I remember that.  When we took you to the hospital, the police came and asked your mother and me if we had deliberately burned you like we were punishing you or something.  They thought we might be abusing you."
  Jeffrey looked sadly at his father.  "I didn't know that.  I do remember that all I was worried about was that you and mom would be mad that I broke the soup bowl."
  Bill was mortified.  "My God, I am so sorry that you would think that of us.  Our only concern was for your health.  I cried when the doctor was mercilessly scrubbing away the dead flesh from your wound.  They had to cut your pants off you and we could see that some of your skin had stuck to the inside of your pants when they were pulled off your body."
  "I appreciate knowing about your concern for me.  I never knew how much that affected you.  But anyway, that night with the guitar, we ended up with a hunk of useless wood, a bunch of metal, wood and plastic debris and a lifelong friendship with each other."
  "And Carrie was my girlfriend at the time.  I met her when she waited on me at a Chinese restaurant one night.  She went to school during the day studying Linguistics and served Chinese food at night.  We hit it off because we were both musicians," said Alexander.
  "Alex was really sweet.  Once he took me to a soccer game between a Japanese team and a Brazilian team.  He was all decorated with face paint."  She had to suppress her laughter.  "He had painted the Japanese flag on his face. He meant well, but he looked like Bozo the clown."  Everyone burst out laughing.
  "Yeah, they were funny together.  And it was cool when we found out that she was a DJ.  We started to jam together and that was the birth of the Maine Eleven Compa..." then Lowe let out a loud, muffin fueled belch.
  Carrie crinkled her nose and said, "Nice aspirated glottal trill."
  "Good to see your Linguistics degree is useful for something, even if it's just to describe my burps," said Lowe.

Chapter 27

27: Over at the next table, Bill was getting to know the members of his son's band.  "Where's Jeffrey anyway?"
  Carrionette rolled her eyes.  "You know him.  He's late to everything.  Instead of being on time, he uses Ahn time."  Everybody laughed at that.
  "Am I mistaken or is your name Carrie Annette?"  Bill wanted to see what kind of people his son was hanging out with.  He didn't seem to know his son at all, sadly.
  "It's Carrionette.  Basically, it's a play on words.  It's like a meat puppet.  A carrion marionette.  My real name is Carolyn Oneiro.  I'm Japanese.  I've got some pictures of me and my family and the band.  Wanna see them?" She reached into her purse.
  "Oh yes, I would love to see."  She handed him two photographs.
  "That's me and my parents at a restaurant the night I graduated from college.  They wanted to celebrate and brought me out for sushi.  My father is the CEO of Visencom, the local electronics company."
  "I've heard of Visencom, yes."
  "That second photograph is of the band at our first show on the lawn at the Marble Cliffs College.  The sound technician sucked so we sounded really bad."  Bill smiled at the picture where he could see them all on the little stage in mid-performance.
  "That must have been during Lowe's 'goth' phase when he wore all white because he heard that Chinese wear white to funerals."  They both laughed.  Lowe visibly blushed.  "Thank you for sharing those pictures with me."  After handing the pictures back to Carrie, Bill turned to Alexander and said, "And you.  Did I hear that you are named, Alexander Graham Taco?  Is that a stage name?"
  "Yeah, you know.  I mean, well, my real name is Alex Manchot.  My mother is Mexican and my father is French.  So you're the 'Have an iced A' dude.  That's awesome.  I've seen you on TV since I was a little boy."
  "Yes, the A Mart is our life's work," Bill replied.
  "So, like, what.  You sell, like, things that start with the letter A or what?"
  "Dude, you're such a dumbass, Alex," chided Lowe Freq.
  "He doesn't know, Lowe," said Bill.  "It's OK.  Actually, we are an Asian food store.  We specialize in Chinese and Korean groceries."
  "Oh yeah, that too.  That was my next guess," spluttered an embarrassed Alex.
  "If you don't mind, I would like to know what your shirt means."
  "I think I stole this from Jeffrey, actually.  IQ=QQXdB is a geek thing.  You know how some people think that just because they're so vocal about their complaints, it makes them somehow smarter?  QQ is computer talk for whining.  It's supposed to look like two eyes crying or something.  And obviously, dB stands for decibels.  So, basically, your smartness level equals how loudly you bitch and moan and complain."
  Bill's face was inscrutable but vaguely conveyed amusement.  Without commenting any further on Alex's shirt, he turned to Lowe.  "Last, but not least, Yong Lowe.  We go way back.  Why do they call you low freak?"
  "It's Lowe Freq.  As you know, my last name is Lowe.  And Freq is short for frequency.  I'm a bass player so I play in the lower frequencies."  It's at that point that Jeffrey finally came down from his room.
  "What up, G?  Where you been all morning?" asked Lowe.
  "Lowe, que pasa?  I took half a sleeping pill last night then I spent the entire night in bed half asleep.  'Sup, C-Note?  The Taco Man.  Yo, pops, what's the haps?"
  "Hello, my son.  I'm just getting to know your band here."  Bill fished a pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket.  He brought one up and pointed it toward Jeffrey.  "Cigarette?"
  Jeffrey looked at it blankly.  "Yes it is," he replied.
  Bill retracted his hand back just an inch and turned the pack to look at the label.  "I meant, would you like a cigarette?"
  "Oh, no thank you, dad.  I don't smoke."
  Bill shrugged.  "Would anyone else like one?"  No one in the band did.  Bill pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit up.  After a few puffs, he gestured toward the bar.  "Can I pour any of you a drink?  They have Regal Lager."  Everyone politely declined.
  Jeffrey looked suspiciously at his father.  "No thanks.  I only drink when I smoke.  Dad, why are you being so nice all of a sudden?  You're freakin' me out."
  Bill nodded then shook his head.  "Well, since I lost Sandy, I've been realizing my finite lifespan.  I hardly know you.  What is it they call you?"  Bill poured himself some Cisler's Cheap Scotch on ice.
  "Um.  Wow.  Um.  They call me G-Bomb cuz I'm a G and I'm da bomb," Jeffrey said with his practiced answer to the familiar question.  "Actually, the g-bomb, 'gook', is derived from the word 'han guk', which is Korean for Korean for those of you who are etymologically challenged."
  "I didn't realize you still remembered any of your Korean."
  "Yeah, some.  I've also picked up some Spanish over the years, living here in Arizona, but han guk mal esta taw dificil than Spanish."
  Bill looked at his son in confusion.  "What?"
  "I said, 'Korean is more difficult than Spanish.'  I just said it using words from three different languages."
  "Dude, you speak three languages?  I speak, like, three-fourths of a language," said Lowe Freq.
  "That's quite impressive, son.  Now, please forgive me, but what was the name of your band again?"
  "No problem.  We are the Maine Eleven Company.  We used to be called the Faux Pho Foe Four, but no one could pronounce it or spell it correctly so we wanted to change our name.  One day we saw a banner of the Mexican national flag with the green, white and red colors.  Emblazoned in huge bold-faced white letters, it said MEXICO with two letters in each color block of the flag.  It looked like it was broken up as ME, XI, and CO.  Naturally, we came to the conclusion that it was extolling the Maine Eleven Company.  We painted that banner onto our van as an advertisement for what became our band's name."
  "I see.  With the first name of your band, did you mean 'foe' as in English for enemy, 'faux' as in French for fake or 'pho' like the Vietnamese noodle soup?"
  "Shit, man.  Where were you when all those stage announcers called us the 'Fox Poe Foe Four'?  It was actually all three that we meant.  Like if we were the 'Fake Soup Enemy Four'.  Good job, dad.  Maybe we woulda stuck with that name if there were more people like you out there."
  "Thanks for the compliment, son.  Both of the names you came up with were quite witty and clever.  Your mother was witty like that.  I'm glad you got that from her.  So you're a rapper?"
  "Well, as I always like to say, 'I'm not a rapper, but I play one on CD.'  It's kind of my catch phrase.  I do sing also.  Not all our songs are rap.  We've got an eclectic mix of styles."  Bill found himself to be quite impressed with Jeffrey and his friends.