Chapter 4

4: When Mina went to work, Jeffrey the Annoyer, who had been copy editing even longer than Mina, came in with his usual greeting of "Good evening, individuals."  Jeffrey was really only a kid who looked like he was twelve years old and acted like he was two.  She had heard that he was actually in his late twenties, but he looked like a punk with spiked hair and a silly looking steel pokey thing sticking out underneath his lower lip right above his stupid-ass goatee.  He somehow thought that being a copy editor for as long as he had been made him the god of the newspaper.  He acted like he knew everything and everyone else was a moron even though his work ethic could best be summed up with his phrase, "I work very hard...to look busy."  He claimed that if he worked at his full capacity, he would make everyone else look bad so he would "pace himself" for the sake of the greater good.  Of course, pacing himself meant falling asleep at his desk.
  After he had repeatedly asked out Ashley from payroll despite her obvious disinterest, she had dubbed him with the title, Jeffrey the Annoyer and he had lived up to it every day.  People in the office generally just tried to ignore him.  Of course, living in his own little world as he did, he was completely oblivious to this.
  Mina sighed at the 600 pound gorilla pile of work sitting exactly where it wanted to, squarely on top of her diminutive desk.  Just another fun day at the office, she groaned.  Shuffling through the jumble of articles and photographs, she spied a picture of a man wearing a cheesy trench coat that she recognized.  It was that damn kooky detective she had seen on her television last night.  The caption for the photo said that his name was Kenn Varson. "Detective Kenn Varson is pictured here third from the right in this grouping of five gentlemen," she read aloud.
  She took one look at the photo and caption and thought about it for a second, even looking at her hand to verify the stupidity of this choice of words.  "Who the hell writes this shit?  Third from the right in a group of five?  Why not third from the left or dead freakin' center?"  She saw a shadow appear on her desk and when she turned around she saw that Barney Abbot, the senior editor was right behind her and right behind him was Jeffrey with a huge smirk on his face.  Mr. Abbot was a slightly heavy-set man who tried unsuccessfully to wear shirts large enough to hide his gut.  She couldn't quite place where he might be from, but her guess was some place in the Middle East.  His ethnic heritage, background and origin weren't exactly the elephant in the room at this particular moment.  All that she was thinking about now was the fact that he was her boss and she might have just pissed him off.  Jeffrey had his hand over his mouth in an attempt to obscure his wiley grin.
  "I didn't even notice that," the senior editor frowned.  Behind him, Jeffrey rolled his eyes.
  "Yes, sir.  Please excuse my outburst, but I just thought it was rather arbitrary so I was going to change it to say, 'Detective Kenn Varson is pictured here in the center of a group of five gentlemen.'"
  "Yes, that does sound more clear."  The senior editor was impressed by her keen attention to detail.  "How long have you been copy editing here?"
  "About a year now, Mr. Abbot."  Mina inwardly winced because she didn't know if she was going to have to start looking for a new job or what.
  "I take it you're not just another one of these young bucks here with a Journalism degree in one hand and a silver spoon in the other."
  "Well, I have a degree in Creative Writing and one in Literature in one hand and a plastic spork made in Taiwan in the other."
  Barney laughed at that.  "Two degrees?  Well, I'd say we've been wasting your talents here.  How would you like to try your hand at writing a story for the paper?"
  Maybe dumbstruck would have sounded better than dumbass, but, "Uh...uh a story?" was all she could get out.
  "Why don't you come upstairs with me and I'll find you something to write."  Mina had been working with this newspaper company for almost a year so this came as a huge surprise.  Jeffrey stuck his tongue out at her just out of Barney's line of sight.  Mina headed out the door with the senior editor to receive her first real assignment.  She couldn't resist turning around to Jeffrey and flipping him off with her third from the right finger.