12: Temeron, the elder Collective had a group gathered around him who were eager to learn more about the religion of the Collective. "It's called the Hierarchy of Sypraxus. To begin with, it is important to note that the more solid something is, the less you need it. Food is the least needed, then water, air and finally your spirit. Life follows the example of these different states of matter. Sypraxus is the ability to change at will between the different states of matter. This is only possible through a deep understanding of the three stages of life.
"We all start in innocence. For the Collective, we call that the solid stage. During that time of your spiritual development, you are in ignorance and bliss. You do not take notice of the problems of the world. Some may even be in denial that problems even exist. You are only in touch with your needs. You tend to be more real. It takes nothing to be innocent. You don't want anything to change.
"The second stage comes when we start to notice the problems in the world. We might become disillusioned or disenchanted. We call that the liquid stage. Everything seems to be bad. We lose our innocense and begin to be aware of wants as opposed to mere needs. We may become superficial or even hateful. It takes your five senses to reach the second stage. You want the world to change.
"The third stage is enlightenment. We call that the air stage. At this stage you begin to have hope. You begin to recognize that there is more than your eyes can perceive. You begin to be aware of others' needs. You become more deep. It takes faith to reach the third stage. You can be calm and at peace. You want yourself to change. Unfortunately, some people never get past the first stage. Most people never get past the second stage. For some reason unknown to me, some people want to go back to the first stage after having reached the second. I must confess to you that I have never met anyone who has truly reached the third stage. It would take an incredible amount of love and faith to reach the third stage. The Sypratic Tome promises that there will be someone who will reach all states of matter: solid, liquid, gas and spirit. We await their arrival eagerly."
In a different part of the hotel, Jeffrey was sitting in front of a microwave reading a book. Alexander approached him, intrigued by the wonderful aroma emanating from the microwave. "Chuptu?" he asked Jeffrey.
Jeffrey looked up from his book. "What did you say?"
"I said, what are you up to?"
"Oh. I'm microwaving some popcorn that I won in the raffle. Want some?"
Alex's eyes lit up. "Sure, sounds good. What are you reading?"
Jeffrey showed the cover of the book to Alexander. "I'm reading about a guy named Pavlov who trained his dogs to salivate when he rang a bell."
A really confused look came across Alex's face. "That's weird."
Jeffrey shrugged. "I guess it depends on how you look at it." At that point, the microwave beeped.
Alex rubbed his hands together in eager anticipation. "Alright! Popcorn's ready!"
Jeffrey sighed and shook his head. Then he put the book down and pulled the microwave door open to retrieve the bag. Lowe walked into the room just as the two of them were munching. He looked downcast. With all the rescue parties coming back with survivors they had found, there were many tearful reunions, but there were still many loved ones missing. One of those was Lowe's uncle.
Jeffrey offered Lowe some popcorn, but Lowe was in no mood for any. "Lowe, they did send a search party in the direction of your uncle's home. You did give them his address, right?"
"Yeah. Him and his boyfriend live at Casanova Mobile Homes lot 1408."
Jeffrey did a double take and suppressed a laugh. "Casanova Mobile Homes?" After a second, he shook it off. What he was thinking wasn't appropriate to say at the moment.
Alex swallowed a mouthful of popcorn. "So your uncle's gay?"
Lowe looked at Alex for a moment. "If you laugh I will seriously hurt you."
Alex shook his head. "No, I won't laugh. There's nothing funny about homosexuality."
"Well, my uncle is a lesbian stuck in a man's body. You see, he's gay, but his body just doesn't know it yet. In order to fit in with the homosexual crowd, he has a boyfriend for now until he can have the sex change operation. Think of it as a reverse 'fag hag', as much as I hate that term."
"I look forward to meeting him. What does he do?" asked Alex.
"He's the singer for a midget metal band called Bawdy Flies. You know that T-shirt I wear that says 'Asian midget trannies are people too'?"
"Oh yeah, I think that shirt's hilarious."
"Well, it's not supposed to be funny. It's my way of supporting my uncle. His name is Singh Ho Ping, but his stage name is Urban Confucius."
Alex's eyebrows went up. "You uncle is Urban Confucius? Dude, I've heard of him. He did that one Christmas song or something. I once saw his band perform dressed as female elves."
"So you've heard 'Don We Now Our Gay Apparel'? It was a minor local hit. Got some air play."
"We all start in innocence. For the Collective, we call that the solid stage. During that time of your spiritual development, you are in ignorance and bliss. You do not take notice of the problems of the world. Some may even be in denial that problems even exist. You are only in touch with your needs. You tend to be more real. It takes nothing to be innocent. You don't want anything to change.
"The second stage comes when we start to notice the problems in the world. We might become disillusioned or disenchanted. We call that the liquid stage. Everything seems to be bad. We lose our innocense and begin to be aware of wants as opposed to mere needs. We may become superficial or even hateful. It takes your five senses to reach the second stage. You want the world to change.
"The third stage is enlightenment. We call that the air stage. At this stage you begin to have hope. You begin to recognize that there is more than your eyes can perceive. You begin to be aware of others' needs. You become more deep. It takes faith to reach the third stage. You can be calm and at peace. You want yourself to change. Unfortunately, some people never get past the first stage. Most people never get past the second stage. For some reason unknown to me, some people want to go back to the first stage after having reached the second. I must confess to you that I have never met anyone who has truly reached the third stage. It would take an incredible amount of love and faith to reach the third stage. The Sypratic Tome promises that there will be someone who will reach all states of matter: solid, liquid, gas and spirit. We await their arrival eagerly."
In a different part of the hotel, Jeffrey was sitting in front of a microwave reading a book. Alexander approached him, intrigued by the wonderful aroma emanating from the microwave. "Chuptu?" he asked Jeffrey.
Jeffrey looked up from his book. "What did you say?"
"I said, what are you up to?"
"Oh. I'm microwaving some popcorn that I won in the raffle. Want some?"
Alex's eyes lit up. "Sure, sounds good. What are you reading?"
Jeffrey showed the cover of the book to Alexander. "I'm reading about a guy named Pavlov who trained his dogs to salivate when he rang a bell."
A really confused look came across Alex's face. "That's weird."
Jeffrey shrugged. "I guess it depends on how you look at it." At that point, the microwave beeped.
Alex rubbed his hands together in eager anticipation. "Alright! Popcorn's ready!"
Jeffrey sighed and shook his head. Then he put the book down and pulled the microwave door open to retrieve the bag. Lowe walked into the room just as the two of them were munching. He looked downcast. With all the rescue parties coming back with survivors they had found, there were many tearful reunions, but there were still many loved ones missing. One of those was Lowe's uncle.
Jeffrey offered Lowe some popcorn, but Lowe was in no mood for any. "Lowe, they did send a search party in the direction of your uncle's home. You did give them his address, right?"
"Yeah. Him and his boyfriend live at Casanova Mobile Homes lot 1408."
Jeffrey did a double take and suppressed a laugh. "Casanova Mobile Homes?" After a second, he shook it off. What he was thinking wasn't appropriate to say at the moment.
Alex swallowed a mouthful of popcorn. "So your uncle's gay?"
Lowe looked at Alex for a moment. "If you laugh I will seriously hurt you."
Alex shook his head. "No, I won't laugh. There's nothing funny about homosexuality."
"Well, my uncle is a lesbian stuck in a man's body. You see, he's gay, but his body just doesn't know it yet. In order to fit in with the homosexual crowd, he has a boyfriend for now until he can have the sex change operation. Think of it as a reverse 'fag hag', as much as I hate that term."
"I look forward to meeting him. What does he do?" asked Alex.
"He's the singer for a midget metal band called Bawdy Flies. You know that T-shirt I wear that says 'Asian midget trannies are people too'?"
"Oh yeah, I think that shirt's hilarious."
"Well, it's not supposed to be funny. It's my way of supporting my uncle. His name is Singh Ho Ping, but his stage name is Urban Confucius."
Alex's eyebrows went up. "You uncle is Urban Confucius? Dude, I've heard of him. He did that one Christmas song or something. I once saw his band perform dressed as female elves."
"So you've heard 'Don We Now Our Gay Apparel'? It was a minor local hit. Got some air play."
No comments:
Post a Comment