16: The band's van was chugging along behind Bill's truck and Kenn's car. Carrionette pointed out the window at a natural geological formation illuminated by moonlight. "Wow, look at that pretty plateau!" she exclaimed.
"Isn't it a butte?" asked Jeffrey.
Alexander was wearing his 'IQ=QQXdB' t-shirt. "I've got blisters on my fingers," he complained.
Lowe was wearing his favorite t-shirt which was black and proudly proclaimed in bold white lettering that 'Asian midget trannies are people too'. He looked at Alex's hand and suggested, "You need to develop some callouses".
"Yeah, do some calisthenics!" joked Carrionette.
They passed by a discarded hubcap lying on the side of the road. "Hey, we should have picked up that hubcap. It might have fit our van," said Alex.
"We already have, like, three different kinds of hubcaps on this beast. Besides, we need to get to that hotel," answered Jeffrey.
"Dude, what is going on? I thought we had a show tonight. What is all this and why are going to Happyville?" The band's only female member, Carrionette, didn't know if she was more angry or confused.
Jeffrey wasn't any less perplexed, but as the leader of the band, somehow he felt obligated to placate her troubled mind. "I'm not really sure what's going on, but these people have my mother. Somehow my stupid father seems to think that a bunch of people holding handmade poster board signs are our tickets to getting into that copper mill."
"You never told me you were related to the A guy. What is it between you and him anyway?"
"He has never respected me as an adult. He always treats me like I'm about to burn down the house if he doesn't control every aspect of my life. You notice he didn't ride with us even though there's plenty of room in the van? He's got his precious black truck. He's had that damn thing since I was twelve. It's like his manliness personified or some such crock. Whenever I screw something up he says, 'That's why you don't drive the black truck,' or his favorite, 'That's why I drive the black truck.'" Jeffrey used a mocking tone on that last line. "Before today, it had been over three months since I'd spoken with my parents."
"Shit, dude. That sucks." Alex also seemed to have some issues with his parents. "My dad's favorite joke is when someone asks if they can borrow something, he always says, 'Mi caca es su caca.' I mean, it was funny the first time he said it, but give it a rest, man. It just sucks because he never gave me shit. You know, just because my dad got lucky and married my mom who is the heir to that damn nut company, he thinks he's all that. My grandpa was Ignacio "Pepe" Rivas, founder of Ignacio's Pistachios with those 'Cracking open and discarding pistachio shells says nothing about the shells themselves, but it says everything about pistachios,' ads. I could be rich, but my dad wanted me to earn my own way through life, the stupid pendejo."
In the passenger seat, Lowe Freq had his own input on the current topic of discussion. "My parents always told me that an old Chinese saying goes, 'The nail which sticks up gets hammered.' Always yelling. I used to call my dad, Old Yeller. They tried to use money as their power against me. It was their weapon of choice against my individuality. Whenever I don't please them, they threatened to take me out of their will. They want me to only marry a Chinese woman. They've disapproved of all my girlfriends. 'Do you want my grandchildren to have round eyes?' Boy, they bug the hell out of me. Dude, how long until we get to this damn hotel?"
Jeffrey could see the gates to Happyville Playland off in the distance. "Not long now. I can see the My Minute Newt Children's Palace lit up like a mystical world of happiness right up ahead."
"Isn't it a butte?" asked Jeffrey.
Alexander was wearing his 'IQ=QQXdB' t-shirt. "I've got blisters on my fingers," he complained.
Lowe was wearing his favorite t-shirt which was black and proudly proclaimed in bold white lettering that 'Asian midget trannies are people too'. He looked at Alex's hand and suggested, "You need to develop some callouses".
"Yeah, do some calisthenics!" joked Carrionette.
They passed by a discarded hubcap lying on the side of the road. "Hey, we should have picked up that hubcap. It might have fit our van," said Alex.
"We already have, like, three different kinds of hubcaps on this beast. Besides, we need to get to that hotel," answered Jeffrey.
"Dude, what is going on? I thought we had a show tonight. What is all this and why are going to Happyville?" The band's only female member, Carrionette, didn't know if she was more angry or confused.
Jeffrey wasn't any less perplexed, but as the leader of the band, somehow he felt obligated to placate her troubled mind. "I'm not really sure what's going on, but these people have my mother. Somehow my stupid father seems to think that a bunch of people holding handmade poster board signs are our tickets to getting into that copper mill."
"You never told me you were related to the A guy. What is it between you and him anyway?"
"He has never respected me as an adult. He always treats me like I'm about to burn down the house if he doesn't control every aspect of my life. You notice he didn't ride with us even though there's plenty of room in the van? He's got his precious black truck. He's had that damn thing since I was twelve. It's like his manliness personified or some such crock. Whenever I screw something up he says, 'That's why you don't drive the black truck,' or his favorite, 'That's why I drive the black truck.'" Jeffrey used a mocking tone on that last line. "Before today, it had been over three months since I'd spoken with my parents."
"Shit, dude. That sucks." Alex also seemed to have some issues with his parents. "My dad's favorite joke is when someone asks if they can borrow something, he always says, 'Mi caca es su caca.' I mean, it was funny the first time he said it, but give it a rest, man. It just sucks because he never gave me shit. You know, just because my dad got lucky and married my mom who is the heir to that damn nut company, he thinks he's all that. My grandpa was Ignacio "Pepe" Rivas, founder of Ignacio's Pistachios with those 'Cracking open and discarding pistachio shells says nothing about the shells themselves, but it says everything about pistachios,' ads. I could be rich, but my dad wanted me to earn my own way through life, the stupid pendejo."
In the passenger seat, Lowe Freq had his own input on the current topic of discussion. "My parents always told me that an old Chinese saying goes, 'The nail which sticks up gets hammered.' Always yelling. I used to call my dad, Old Yeller. They tried to use money as their power against me. It was their weapon of choice against my individuality. Whenever I don't please them, they threatened to take me out of their will. They want me to only marry a Chinese woman. They've disapproved of all my girlfriends. 'Do you want my grandchildren to have round eyes?' Boy, they bug the hell out of me. Dude, how long until we get to this damn hotel?"
Jeffrey could see the gates to Happyville Playland off in the distance. "Not long now. I can see the My Minute Newt Children's Palace lit up like a mystical world of happiness right up ahead."
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